Its been an interesting last week. Not only because I am sleep deprived (oh gym...how I love you and loathe you at the same time....) but also because God has been doing a number on my heart.

A friend told me that when they first met me that people thought I was idealistic and naive of the world. And that's probably true. I still am to a degree - something that I don't think is necessarily wrong. We shouldn't lose sight of things as they should be. I feel really strongly about that. Do not get so lost in the brokenness of the world that you lose the truth of what was intended. Anyways...

People fail you. Or tell you things that aren't true. Or say one thing and do another. I have been blessed in the past that people I have grown to trust and call friends haven't done things like that. I need all the support I can get.

And yet, I have put my hope in sinful man and have found myself wanting. [it should be noted...that I fail people too.]

And so this week I have been wrestling with the accompanying sadness, guilt, and anger (with myself and others) that accompanies putting ones trust in that which cannot fulfill.

I am brought back to this verse:

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

It is in these moments of weakness and strong emotion that I have felt God so strongly speak to me.

He has this under control. He knows what my actions should be. He is making me free of guilt and anger.

And so, while this whole experience has been stretching and honestly slightly horrible in its "newness", God has so sweetly been there at my elbow, whispering that I am loved and that He is in control.

I am weak and He has answered. I love that.