...or at least I feel like it. But that's ok.
I don't know when I got the mindset that I was going to do everything once, do it perfectly, and live happily ever after. But hey, that's the stuff that fairy tales are made of, and I have an active imagination. Its not as if my parents got it perfect either - Dad took 5 years, got his chem-e degree and then decided he hated it (sound familiar?) - but I think I have taken the "Kimes do what it takes to be successful" a bit too far. Or maybe this is what my parents were trying to protect me from. Who knows.
Either way, I feel that I've come to a semi-clear decision - I don't want to be a teacher.
Heaven help me if my cooperating teacher reads this (don't hate me, Mr. Culp), but student teaching wasn't the best experience. And more importantly, I learned a lot about public schools that you only learn through experience (and that they don't teach you in your teaching program). I also learned about standards based education - which I feel has become an excuse to push kids through a system without putting strong expectations for the way in which things are done and the manner at which they are submitted. Finally...I found out that I don't really care very much for the biology standards - and you have to LOVE them if you're going to get close to getting kids excited about cell organelles at all.
Is this true of all schools? probably not. And I'm not bashing the school I was set up in - the kids were great and I met some really good teachers there who inspire me with their work ethic and drive to work in high schools. But is it for me? Probably not. At least that's how I feel right now.
So the question poses itself - what the heck am I supposed to do now that I just committed a year of my life to this career path? (and money too. sheesh.) Well...Daddy was always about me having a "career" and I don't see a lot of things that I want to do that coincide with the basic biology degree I got a few years ago.
Frankly, I always just wanted a family, but you gotta play with the cards you're dealt in life :) So off I go!
I'm thinking nursing. We'll see :)
2 comments:
I figure that work is hard enough and we'll work long enough that it's worth a little extra time on the front end to find something you might really enjoy. So far so good and you're on the right track.
But find a way to job shadow or apprentice or ask a lot a lot of questions before jumping into another career path. It turns out that studying a field and working in the field can be completely different. But you knew that already.
I wish someone had told me my freshman year of college that I could withdraw from the computer science class that I took (which was recommended to me by a visiting professor "advisor" that told me it was like graphic design). Instead, I suffered through all the "cout<>" coding craziness and busted my butt just to get a C. I wish those computer guys that took a break from their marathon role-playing games to help me in the lab at 2am had just said, "You don't HAVE to do this." But no. No counsel as such.
My dear, Hannah, I am glad you can say to yourself, "I don't have to do this." At least for now. At least you can rest in that peace for now. :) And who knows, those kids you were "sweatin", or the colleagues you worked with, or even a random substitute in the teacher's lounge may have had little seeds planted about Christ because of this last year. And ultimately, that's all that matters, right?
love you.
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